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Adjusting to life alone isn’t something I thought I’d have to do again but it has been the most incredible time. Yes, I have my parents, my siblings, and my friends, but I had built a whole future with somebody and then had to rethink my entire life’s plan. Even through the craziness that is life, I can confidently say that I am getting through it and quiet honestly, most days I’d like to think, I am killing it. 

Changes in life really test your heart, and lately it feels like I’m finding myself being more positive than not. I’m really focusing on finding grace in my heart and continuing to push through. I have yet to find a challenge I did not absolutely demolish. 

Much like Beyoncé, when life has given me pain and obstacles, I’ve made them my assets, I’ve tried my best to make Lemonade. I have a ton of anxiety surrounding changes, so I’m trying to focus on all the new opportunities that I can welcome. 

There’s no right or wrong way to live with a chronic illness. Living this way is so hard, and chronic illness does not come with an instructional manual. 

I often find myself angry, and I think that’s a normal feeling when you feel that your body is betraying you. 

Other times I feel grateful to have access to medications that are prolonging my quality of life. Then I begin to wonder what I could have done to change this, but none of this means that I am any less grateful for how far my body has come. It is not something I did or did not do that caused this, I know that. 

But, grief is a windy road that seems endless at times. 

You are allowed to hop between stages of grief. You are allowed to live your journey however you wish, so long as you don’t prohibit someone else from carrying on as they’d like.

Welcome to my chaos 💙

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